I have been struggling lately with things, because I am so stressed about my last semester at school and all that I have to do including finishing an undergraduate research project, not to mention add the stress of needing to clean up my junk at the parent's house (that was one of the reasons I had to talk to mom).
The dance last night sucked for me. The decorations were beautiful and there were lots of people but I felt out of my element and it extended into today at church and even tonight into ward stare. I have been praying to know if I should move back to b-town since I have been attending the ward and that is where my pseudo-social life has been. It has been pseudo and now it is even more pseudo since I don't feel accepted. I feel like I need a change and that change is going to come in the form of attending a different ward in o-town where I can have a fresh start. I am going to go with the other roomies especially wyoming girl cause she is wonderful.
After ward stare I called wyoming girl and we talked about how I am struggling and what is going on in my life. She is amazing and I hope she realizes that. While I was talking to her I realized that I am suppose to stay in Ogden and that maybe I need to find a different ward near where I live so that I can have a social life and enjoy myself while I am living there. I also realized that maybe life is going kind of sucky for me because I didn't really ask the Lord if I should stay in the ward I'm in after the summer was over. I stayed because I didn't know where else I would go since all of the roommate drama hit the fan. I guess I did it to myself. Time to start listening to the spirit more often or more carefully for that matter.
So here I go, most likely to hop off into the next step I need to make. . .really finding out where I'm suppose to be.
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