Tis the season

I know, I know, usually I'm not ready for Christmas to come so early, but, this year I am. . . I think it is because I get to decorate my apartment. . .which also means that I get to buy a Christmas tree!! However, it does not mean I'm ready to listen to Christmas music yet.

Good things come to those who wait.

I have been wanting/needing a nice, sturdy, real(as in not chipboard cheap) dresser for my clothes. I have had my eye on one at IKEA that is $299. . .a little TOO far out of my price range.

Last night at my grandma's house for the last bit of my sister's birthday weekend extravaganza :) Happy birthday sis!(we had such a marvelously fun weekend.) My grandma began complaining about a dresser that she has that is too big for her guest bedroom. I went to look at it and it is a BEAUTIFUL expensive dresser that she bought second hand for a relatively inexpensive price. I told her that it is really nice but I can't afford it. My mom said something about do you want it or something. . .and I said yes. I think she has something up her sleeve to pay grandma for it. The next question from grandma was will it fit in your apartment. DUH! My bedroom is HUGE. I told her that she needs to come see my house. It was cute. Apparently I'm gonna be getting a dresser! YAY!! I am so happy. I will have a piece of grown-up furniture in my bedroom!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!

Deadlines. . .sometimes they really work!!!

I have this deadline on Saturday at 7 pm to have my house looking tidy and neat and more importantly how I want it. You see, I have a couple of friends coming over and I'm tired of people not coming over since I'm still technically unpacking and settling. . .but seriously I moved in MAY. . .6 months should be more than enough to do that and yet I still haven't managed it. So Hopefully by the end of October I will be completely done with this whole rearranging and settling and junk. A few big steps have happened. I moved my bedroom around once and then didn't like it so I put it back the way it was before and I'm gonna move a few more things around and hopefully ta da its great.

My goals tonight have kind of been screwed since I got home at 2:00 and slept until 5:30. . .I woke with a start cause I thought I was late for work and was sure I would be in BIG trouble. . .After frantically searching for my cellphone I saw it was PM and I realized I had already been at work for the day.

Anyway back to my house. . . I am beginning to have a sort of color scheme. . .I have these fabulous bluegreenish (but think more blue) curtains for my large window. They look nice. My mom is fabulous and went shopping with me at Target tonight and we discovered better curtains than I got the night before. I'm so taking the other ones back cause my mom ONCE AGAIN is FABULOUS and said "your other windows are small why don't we take some of the upholstery I have and lets make some curtains to save you money." SWEET! My mom rocks that way! So now I need to plan a trip home for a Saturday or Friday night and go through fabric! YEAH! Fine with me cause I need to pick a few things up from there anyway.

Ok. . .Back to work! :) Sometime soon I expect to post pictures of my place on here.

My totally random life in a chain of events

Yeah. I so don't know why I chose that title but it fits my life. Here is the explanation:
1. I totally randomly went grocery shopping at 8:30 last night. . .I bought stuff to make sandwiches for lunch but totally random thing that happened this morning [see number 2].
2. I slept in until 7 am at which point I did not have time to use my sandwich makings for my lunch. PB&J again. . .
3. The reason I slept in so late was I stayed up past 11 pm playing [which shall now be known as exercising] with my wii fit.(I've never used the excuse that I stayed up too late exercising before. . .that is a first!)
4. I stayed up late exercising because at 9:30 when I was going to start exercising a friend called and we chatted it up for a good 30 or so. . .and some random internet time too. I'm looking forward to hanging out with her in about a week! YAY!
5. I couldn't be late to work today cause I chose to not go to CIMA in SLC. . .(pretty glad I didn't go cause of the weather)so I'm "in charge" until Melissa gets back. . . and who knows what time that will be since she is using public transit to get to work. . .and stopping for lunch on her way.
6. The reason I went to the store at 8:30 was that I had fallen asleep and didn't wake until 7:00 and then I chatted on the internet with my sis and ate dinner which consisted of a pepper-jack grilled cheese sandwich with salsa YUM.

Yeah I know this is a pretty random out of order chain but you got all the facts didn't ya? Don't complain!

In other news I only have 11 ogccla scrapbooks to scan. The End is NEAR. . .ha ha ha and our new student worker makes me laugh. :)And I am sad to report that my chair STILL smells bad. . .I wonder when they are going to clean it?

m'kay bye

I'm Ready. . .please!!!

Ok, if you aren't ready for the weather to change stop reading now. . .Or don't get mad at me

I wish the weather would change so that my body will stop hurting. It really puts a damper on things when you have to text or call a friend and say I'm in so much pain I can't go do anything tonight. :( If we could just skip fall and bring on the snow my body would appreciate it so much better. M'kay? Lets just change and stay changed until you know. . .spring? Picky I know but when you have to deal with the fascia tightening on your nerves and muscles because of the crazy weather we are suppose to have this week. . .and it won't stop for anything. . .no heating pad, no ibuprofen, no nothing. . . you just want the weather to stop changing. . .Maybe I need to move to someplace warm. . .I really should but right now is probably not the time to do it. Arizona just sounds so good right now. . .or even a warm humid state like you know, Florida or Hawaii. . .mmmm. . .maybe I need to move to Hawaii. ha ha ha. . .

So now that I've complained I am going to crawl into bed, curl up in the fetal position and whimper until I fall blissfully asleep. . .and hopefully in the morning this "nightmare" of pain will be gone. HOPEFULLY. Stupid weather.

good night!

Never

I never thought I'd say this but I MISS being a missionary. I went with the Spanish sisters tonight. Oh how I miss the missionary mantle and being able to speak Spanish well. Those really were the days. . .but life is good cause there are Hermanas in O-town!!!!!!

Potential

This week had the potential to SUCK bad. Tuesday was the worst. I have learned many things most of which I am not sharing on here because of its nature. I will share with you one little thing that I have learned. I came across it Thursday morning it is a quote from President Monson. "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved." God sure knew what He was doing when He lead me to that thought cause I ended up needing it Thursday afternoon and it has managed to get me through to today too.

I have been thinking about going to institute in the evenings and so yesterday I went to two classes. Both from teachers I have had before. I thoroughly enjoyed it. I heard many things that I needed to hear. I now have classes on Wednesday and Thursday. It was like filling a cup that had been empty for so long. Like long over-due moisture to a parched plant. I realized that I have just been going through the motions by attending church and activities, there has really been no uplift for me because I haven't been putting in the effort and taking the time. Being stagnant is no fun.

I am also looking at taking some big steps in my life. Some of them are going to happen beginning Sunday. I feel like it is time for me to change wards and attend the one I am assigned to. SCARY and yet I look forward to doing it. It is a step in the right direction.

My life has potential. . .potential to be GREAT!

Back to work

The Salt Flats were FABULOUS. . .minus the rain and ornery people. I'm hooked.

That is all for now since I don't have more to say. Well I do but not here.

How?

Ok, so how is it that I like a guy who HATES camping with a passion and doesn't like cars much? How could this have happened? ;)

Oh well.

Salt Flats in 3 days!!! I'm so not ready yet. . .tons to do.

Holy Hanna

Dude the salt flats are 10 days away (11 if you count today)! I thought they would never come! I guess I should start planning what I need to do and take care of before the 14th. I'm SO excited!!!!!!!!! I found out that the per diem isn't going to change, so that is good, really good. . .


In other news I found out that there is an Archeology study abroad to Greece and Turkey in 2010. I WANT TO GO!!!!! I have been wanting to travel to Turkey forever. Greece will be AWESOME too. I just have to come up with the money. . . some how. OH I just have to plan, scrimp and save but it WILL be worth it. ooooo. . .I wonder if I get a tuition waver if I do it? It is a class. . .I know it wouldn't cover it all, but ooh. . .I hope!!!!

What so you say? (especially if you don't feel that bad)

So, I ran away today. . .and didn't get my laundry started until 10:30 pm tonight. I need undies for tomorrow and today when I left my neighbor was doing laundry. When I got home I discovered that there was still laundry in the washer. Sigh. So I was making a bunch of noise and took ALL of their baby's lovely diapers out of the washing machine. . .and hung them on the rack in the basement. Now, I don't know about what they did all day but I was gone. . .After I had the washer filled and most of my clothes in it she came down and was like: "Oh, those need to be washed again." I said to her, I'm sorry, I do need underwear to wear tomorrow. (Honestly I didn't feel that bad about it but I acted like I did. . .she had ALL DAY to wash those twice. . .oh well.) She said, its alright, I'll just wash them again tomorrow. So now the predicament I'm in. Do I stay up all night and do all of my laundry tonight? OR DO I just wait to do the rest of my laundry tomorrow evening or Monday. I think I'm going to stay up and get it all done. I think I only have one load left anyway if I do a large one with all my darks and lights together.

Oh and today I paid off my car!!! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It feels kind of liberating :D

P.S. I was thinking that the diapers really stunk when I hung them up. . .cause obviously they did! Just another reason for me NOT to use cloth diapers.

GRE prep time

Yeah, it is finally time for me to get studying for the GRE. Should have been doing it in the summer, but I moved and had SO much fun with my friends. SO in lieu of taking tons of classes for fun I am going to study and only take guitar.

Wish me luck. . .and luck that I can find my GRE test prep book. :)

I'm going to bed. . .FINALLY

I had to clean up my living room today since I found mold in it on Saturday night/Sunday morning and now my landlord's fix-it guy and my landlord are coming over tomorrow to check for hidden/further damage. I think they are going to have to replace the baseboard, good thing it is in parts so they don't have to replace it ALL on the one wall.

I cleaned up the mold on Sunday cause it was nasty and smelly.

I used my new vacuum since I only had a canister vacuum and it didn't pick up stuff very well. The collection compartment of the new one is completely full. . .Like I had never vacuumed. . .and the people before me never vacuumed. . .it is pretty gross but my floor looks pretty. :) Never underestimate the power of a good vacuum!

WHY!?!?!

I go camping. . .in an area with black BEARS. . .and flushing toilets. . .It rains. . .not too bad, but why after 3 months did I start TODAY???!!!!!!!! Supposedly when ladies are at that time of the month bears can smell them better. EW and scary. SCARY. Since I have had this continuing nightmare that I will go camping with my ward and we have to RUN from bears and get in vehicles for protection. . .yeah. . .it is very graphic and SCARY. Right before I left to go camping someone I work with told me that scary little fact about women.

SO, I am now home, waiting for my ibuprofen to kick in so I can sleep in my lovely soft bed, out of the rain (which was headed toward the camp site) and not have to worry about bears slashing through the thing fabric of a tent to get me. Oh and I really hope that the ibuprofen WORKS. . .on the first day sometimes it doesn't. :(

TMI

3 months and counting that I haven't had a period. . .I can't get in to see a NP until September 25 I would have had to wait until November to see an OBGYN (a woman) I don't want to go to a man for problems in woman land.

Almost

Ok, so this may not be exciting to any of you but, I am about 6 pound away from my pre mission weight. YEAH! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Struggling for health's sake

I hate fibro-whats-it. I hate that I don't sleep and my mind wakes up and goes okay. . .its 3 am or 4 am or 5:30 am wake up. WAKE UP! I'm gonna go a million miles an hour and there is nothing you can do about it! The worst thing about it is that I work at 8 freakin' am in the morning. . .when you are tired and hurt and don't desire to leave your bed since you haven't slept well in the past few days.

When I get this way I go back and read helpful websites on fibromyalgia to review what I *should* have done different and change my habits.

I hate today, and yet I have to keep going. :(

some days it is GREAT to be alive

I don't know what is going on but I feel great. WOW. I feel great. I haven't been able to say that in a very long time. Mostly I'm just tired, but a power nap is going to help that. A long while back when I was seeing a therapist weekly I didn't like myself, especially my body. I have come to realize that my living situation wasn't ideal, but I had to deal with it, and learn from it. Tami, my therapist told me bluntly that in order to help myself get to where I need to be in all aspects of my life I needed to learn how to love myself. It was something that I knew and yet had buried it along with everything else I had gone through in a relationship.

Lets go back to 2003 and talk about loving myself. I was dating Tad. Not a happy situation. I don't like looking back on my mistakes but I have learned so much from it. One of the greatest things I learned was that love goes a long way (it is probable one of the few positive things I can say about him. . . not much else). Having someone love me helped me learn to love myself. No longer did I think that no one could love me because of how I looked or felt.

Seven years later I have dug up the love. Heaven knows that it was buried deep. Locked in a box at the bottom of a cavern.

I have come further than I thought I would. It has been through many great people, some of which probably don't even know how much they have helped me. No longer am I the person that I was. It feels good to say. I can see parts of the path I am suppose to take more clearly than before even if I don't completely understand why. I will know someday looking back.

Part of loving myself is loving what I can accomplish, and what I have accomplished. It is not focusing on what I haven't accomplished. Case in point: Yesterday I stuck to my eating goals. YAY ME! You know what? I was rewarded by dropping 1 pound. Now, what didn't I do yesterday? Dishes or pick up my living room. You know what? WHO CARES. There is always today. Today I'm going to stick to my eating goals AND do my dishes. SEE? I can do one thing and then add onto it.

Today I feel good.

Scary Dream

I had this horribly scary tense dream last night. It involved people who no longer work where I work. It was twisted and I know it would never involve all the people that were in it. But it did involve "security." The weird thing was the whole thing took place in Target. I know weird weird weird. Two things I do remember was an office FULL of people at the back of the store and the yelling and shouting could be heard at the front of the store, even with the door SHUT. Anyway. weird.

oh my

Tonight I realized that many of my younger friends and I don't have tons in common. But I did have some DANG GOOD Aloo Gobi for dinner.

I haven't gotten my lesson done.

My entrails feel like they are going to become my extrails. . .I am trying to decide if it was the food or it is my period. It HURTS.

thats all. I'm going to bed now.