Happiness

Today I went to a different ward for church. The ward I am suppose to be in, the one in which my apartment is in (not the roomies, but the apartment). On Saturday I started to mentally freak-out because of the anxiety of seeing an old roommate who still attends the ward even though she no longer lives in the ward.

I have agonized over the decision to leave the b-town ward and find a ward where I can have friends and enjoy going to activities without spending so much on gasoline. I had decided on going to the 13th ward, that is in a different stake, but after praying about it many times the answer came as no. When I explained myself, and my thinking to the Lord that I need friends and a social life where I live the response was, "You have friends in the 11th ward, and you live in those boundaries." Enough said. . . only I have been putting going there off, until today.

I was surprisingly early, and I saw 2 of my friends, which was a relief, and they were excited to see me. One of them asked me to sing with the choir, as they needed altos for one of the hymns on the program, I said yes, but at the time I didn't realize that they were singing TODAY. . .it was okay though. That was fine though since I knew I couldn't sit on a tin chair for 2 hours because it was the 5th Sunday combined thing. . . which I dislike anyway. . .bleh (I usually come away from it very disappointed since I usually forget it is that Sunday and don't get spiritually fed as well as I would like [my own problem I know]).

So that was my return to church. . .my ward. The happiest thing was I saw big-in-japan, he makes me happy since he is so nice, he too, was excited to see me. I was surprised to see him though because he had talked about leaving the ward, but I guess since he is executive secretary he doesn't have to leave the ward since he is part of the bishopric technically. He makes me happy, he needs to find a great girl, he deserves a great girl.

I this morning when I got up again I prayed for love and acceptance and peace and more stuff concerning the old roommate. I was so blessed, because I have prayed for awhile that I may not be angry about things that were said, and such. I do not feel anger or hatred towards her, I know it will be hard, because I know that I am still fragile in that area but there is no need for me to hate. I really feel more of a compassion and charity towards her, sorry for things that have happened and how they happened. It is a wonderful feeling.

Getting back on track. At church I was so happy and felt that I am were I should be. I am still happy, I haven't had a great Sunday in a long time. In choir practice I made a new friend who is my age. . .that doesn't happen very often, usually they are older or younger, but she is my same age. . . When it was time for sacrament meeting I was relieved that the ward has shrunken some and they didn't have to open the overflow. (BIG wards intimidate me) There are some new faces and old, which is a good mix. I also saw one of my friend's ex-husband, it saddened me that they got divorced. . .especially since I know that part of it was over money. I also saw the old roommate. . .no eye contact was made. As I sang with the choir I glanced over the audience I noticed her, and that she would not look up while I was up there, I also noticed that she left right after church, unusual since she is usually a mingler. This is going to be hard since she probably hates my guts, but I don't know, what I do know is that things will work out, somehow.

My new friend saw me sitting alone in the chapel before Sacrament meeting started, and she sat by me. :D It really helped me and once again made me happy. She also brought a friend with her, someone I knew from the b-town ward long ago. . .very long ago. YAY!!! New friend and old friend want me to sit with them when I don't have anyone to sit by. New friend told me that she is 27 and has moved 21 times in her life, and so she really knows what it is like to be new in a ward and how having a friend really helps. It was great, yay for bench friends!!!!

I really don't think there are enough exclamation marks in this entry do you?

I love being happy.